You're A Bridesmaid - So Start Acting Like One!

Surprisingly, we hear this question a lot. There is a lot of pressure behind being a bridesmaid, but most importantly there's an even bigger honor behind being asked. 

Everyone will have their own reasons for why they may need to back out from being part of the bridal party - a family emergency, financial issues, or maybe even a friendship that's growing apart. 

Truth be told, there isn't really a good way of backing out and the ultimate decision shouldn't be yours. It should be from the bride. 

How to Step Down from Being in the Bridal Party

Now don't think this is your guide on how to get out of being a bridesmaid. Only think of this as a few suggestions and things to keep in mind if you no longer think it's appropriate to be in the wedding. Remember, the most important thing is that you are stepping down on the bride's terms. 

1. Think things over. 
   Understand and even write down the reasons why you can no longer be in the bridal party. You want to have your thoughts collected, so you can best explain yourself. Your decision shouldn't be to be out of the bridal party until you fully speak to the bride and come to a resolution. If she can fully understand where you are coming from, then she might be more accepting or help determine a better answer. For example, if you need to step down because of financial reasons, are there areas that you could cut costs? Or if your friendship is drifting, is there a way to rebuild and start off fresh?
   
   
2. Talk with the bride. 
   Ah! The scariest part. The last thing you want to do is stress her out before her big day. Make sure that after you've thought things through, you're also approaching her at an appopriate time. You will need to talk to in person. It's sometimes easier to hide behind the phone, emails, or notes, but that's unfair to your friend. She thought of you as a big part of her life and asked you to be part of the day. You owe her to have a face-to-face conversation.
   
   
3. Come to a resolution.
   You did it! You explained your reasoning and now it's time to figure out what is best for the both. Remember, this is her day not yours. So the decision should come from both sides. If she's a good friend, she'll understand where you are coming from and help figure out what is most appropriate. Be prepared that it's easier said than done.

Just remember, no matter what the reason, be open with the bride-to-be and explain your hesitations. Honesty will make it a lot easier and talking through this may help you realize that being part of the bridal party is still feasible! 

photo credit: Sean Molin Photography via photopin cc